Does Feeling Understood by Your Partner Boost Your Sex Life?

Maindron, E., Emond, M., Ramos, B., Péloquin, K., & Daspe, M.È. (2026). The Journal of Sex Research, 63(7).

The Question

Does empathy toward a romantic partner relate to a person's own and their partner's sexual satisfaction and desire, and does it matter whether both partners are highly empathic at the same time?

Who They Studied

190 young adult couples in Canada (380 people total), ages 18 to 29, together for at least two months. The sample included couples of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures, including monogamous, polyamorous, and open relationships.

What They Found

• People who were more empathic toward their partner reported greater sexual satisfaction and desire themselves.

• Being with a more empathic partner was linked to a person's own greater sexual satisfaction, though not to greater sexual desire.

• Empathy mattered on its own. Having two highly empathic partners in the same couple did not produce an extra boost beyond each person's individual empathy.

• Men reported higher dyadic sexual desire than women overall, but the link between empathy and sexual outcomes held up the same way regardless of gender.

• The connection between empathy and satisfaction seemed to run mostly through perspective taking (understanding a partner's viewpoint) rather than through emotional concern alone.

What This Means For You: Working on understanding your partner's perspective, really trying to see things from where they stand, may support both your own sexual satisfaction and theirs. You do not need your partner to change for this to help. Your own empathy is already linked to a better sexual connection for both of you.

Disclaimer: Research findings describe patterns across groups, not predictions about any one relationship.