Can Understanding Your Own Sexual Feelings Improve Your Sex Life?
Gaertner, Fuchshuber, Reininger, & Briken (2026). The Journal of Sex Research. Advance online publication.
The Question
Does the ability to notice and understand your own and a partner's sexual feelings, called sexual mentalizing, shape sexual function, activity, and satisfaction over time, and do these effects run in both directions?
Who They Studied
More than 2,600 German speaking adults (including about 1,190 women) completed online surveys twice, roughly four months apart, answering questions about their sexual and general emotional awareness, sexual function, sexual activity, and sexual satisfaction.
What They Found
People who scored higher on sexual mentalizing at the first check in had better sexual function and more partnered sexual activity four months later, for both men and women. The reverse was also true: better sexual function and activity predicted stronger sexual mentalizing skills too.
For women only, this same back and forth pattern showed up with solo sexual activity, including masturbation and pornography use, suggesting women's solo experiences involve more self reflection than men's tend to.
Sexual mentalizing didn't directly predict how satisfied people felt with their sex lives. But feeling more satisfied at the first check in did predict stronger sexual mentalizing skills later, in both men and women.
General emotional awareness predicted sexual mentalizing skills in men but not in women. Meanwhile, sexual mentalizing predicted general emotional awareness in both genders, hinting that men and women may build this skill through somewhat different paths.
What This Means For You: The ability to tune into your own sexual feelings and your partner's isn't fixed. It tends to grow alongside positive sexual experiences, and it also helps those experiences happen. If you or your partner sometimes feel out of touch with your own desires or disconnected from each other during sex, building this kind of awareness through honest conversation and attention to what's happening in your body and mind can support both your sexual wellbeing and your relationship over time.
Disclaimer: Research findings describe patterns across groups, not predictions about any one relationship.